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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26418751">Memories</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sasukewasameme/pseuds/sasukewasameme'>sasukewasameme</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sasuke Angst Collection [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Uchiha Sasuke Has Issues, Uchiha Sasuke-centric</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 13:14:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,411</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26418751</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sasukewasameme/pseuds/sasukewasameme</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After Sasuke attempts suicide, the Leaf go through his memories to find information on the Akatsuki. What they find along the way leaves them heartbroken.</p><p>Warnings: please read the tags, although I will warn you in the beginning Author's Notes of the chapters as well. Also, aged up Sasuke.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sasuke Angst Collection [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1695241</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>148</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>WARNING: Suicide Attempt</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It happened during the war.</p><p>After talking to the past Hokages, Sasuke joined the Leaf Chunin to fight against the Akatsuki. Naruto was happy to be fighting side by side once again after years without him. Everything was going well - too well - when out of nowhere, the strongest of the Uchiha Clan (who should've been dead as Reanimations) came to fight them.</p><p> </p><p>This was a big hit in Sasuke's face. As his undead brother and cousins came running at him to kill him, he realized the only solution: killing them. Fugaku Uchiha, who was none  other than both the previous Uchiha Clan Head and also Sasuke's father, asked Sasuke to kill them. </p><p> </p><p>They didn't want to be killed by strangers. They wanted to be killed by one of their own. Sasuke closed his eyes and let the somber air pass through his hair. Then, with great effort, he picked up his katana that was heavier than usual and ran at his clansman. </p><p> </p><p>Right away, he activated his Susanoo. The fight against his fellow Uchiha would be a difficult one. Kakashi jumped down coming from the East, ready to help Sasuke when he needed it whether he wanted help or not. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke faced off with his father. He did everything he could to leave emotions out of it but when he'd overpowered his father, forcing the man on his knees, he felt his lip trembling. He refused to cry. He refused. He lifted his katana, ready to kill the man the same way his brother had.</p><p> </p><p>But just as his katana reached his father, he stopped. He stayed standing with his katana, ready to slash his father for several minutes while Kakashi held the other Uchiha off. He had to prepare himself. He thought of every terrible thing that happened in his life and raised the katana once again.</p><p> </p><p>This time, he forced himself to follow through with slicing his father. He watched in horror as his own hands holding his own sword slashed through his father's back. His min was screaming at him to stop. His mind felt detached from his hands as his katana cut through thick bone and white muscle.</p><p> </p><p>Blood poured over Sasuke's hands. His hands were red with murder. Literally. "I'm proud of -" Sasuke stopped listening, having a mental breakdown. He felt his mind breaking. He couldn't take this. He couldn't. He wanted to die. </p><p> </p><p>Everything was terrible. Life was terrible. He'd never be accepted by the Leaf ever again. He lost all of his friends. He lost all of his family. He lost everything. All that he had was darkness and he didn't like the darkness anymore.</p><p> </p><p>No one expected it. When they saw Sasuke raising his katana again, they got in defensive positions, ready to fight if need be. But rather than pointing his katana at them, he pointed it at himself. After that, most of them had no time to react. Those who thought fast and ran at Sasuke, trying to stop him, didn't make it in time. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke was fast and impulsive. But he was also passionate about the things he desired and in the moment, he desired death. Since death was what he wanted, death was what he would get. The pain hit him hard but he forced his hands to keep pushing the katana into his chest.</p><p> </p><p>He wanted to die. That's all he wanted. He pushed the katana in to the hilt and fell backwards. In falling backwards on to the katana, half of the sword pushed out through his back and outwards through his chest. It hurt. All he could see was red. </p><p> </p><p>He was in too much pain to think about anything. Most of his memories were vague with a red film over them. He thought of his family and his time with Team 7 but that was the most he could think of. The pain in his back and chest didn't let him think of anything else. </p><p> </p><p>The pain made him tired. So, so tired. And then, everything was black. </p><p> </p><p>~End Of Prologue~</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Infiltration</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The actual memory viewing will start next chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sasuke woke up in a hospital and felt perfectly fine physically. Emotionally, he was upset that he was alive. The color of white was everywhere in the room. It hurt his eyes. He wasn't used to bright rooms, especially after living in dark hideouts for the past several years. A nurse walked into the room and jumped when she Sasuke. </p><p> </p><p>"You're... awake?" He looked at her and didn't answer. She nodded to herself and said, "I'll go tell Ms. Tsunade," she said before running out of the room. Sasuke blinked once and relaxed, not realizing he was tense. </p><p> </p><p>Not ten minutes later, Tsunade came into the room with a surprised look on her face that matched the nurse's. "It seems she was right. You really are awake." Sasuke furrowed his brows in confusion but still didn't say anything. </p><p> </p><p>He wasn't dumb. He was aware that, as the war should still be going on, Tsunade should be out fighting and not tending to him. Something was going on here. Tsunade answered his silent question and got to the point. </p><p> </p><p>"You were in a coma. The war is over. It ended two weeks ago. Things are relatively back to normal. And Kakashi is the Hokage now. The Akatsuki lost the war and they each killed themselves so we wouldn't find out about their secrets and plans. You and your teammates are the last Akatsuki left."</p><p> </p><p>The war was over? "You're going to be investigated as soon as we check your vital signs to make sure everything's okay." Sasuke expected nothing better. Tsunade checked his vital signs and made sure he didn't have a concussion before ANBU came to escort Sasuke to a cell. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke complied. It was over. He was done with life. He had nothing to fight for. Everyone hated him and he hated everyone. It didn't matter what they did to him. As soon as he was released, he would kill himself and he'd make sure he'd die this time. </p><p> </p><p>The ANBU put a special blindfold on Sasuke and tied his hands up tightly so he wouldn't break the chains. Sasuke immediately laid down as soon as they put him in his cell. His body was just as tired as his mind. He laid in his cell, staring at the wall for hours until Kakashi came.</p><p> </p><p>"Sasuke." Sasuke ignored him. Kakashi sighed. "Your investigation will be tomorrow afternoon. It'll be a mind infiltration investigation. It's going to be an investigation that needs to have a minimum of 10 witnesses to witness your memories and a maximum of 15 witnesses. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke turned slightly. Facing Kakashi didn't matter. He was blinded by his blindfold and couldn't look him in the eyes. What was the point of looking someone in the face when you couldn't acknowledge them? Kakashi stood there for a few more quiet minutes before saying, "I'm glad you're here." </p><p> </p><p>Then, to counter the seriousness, he smiled and teased Sasuke about how he needs to watch his issues with being woken up when he's woken up tomorrow. "The ANBU won't appreciated your attitude," he said. "Oh. And I'll be there for your investigation tomorrow."</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke turned back around, back facing Kakashi. Kakashi left. And Sasuke, having nothing else to do, went to sleep, dreaming of suicide. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke woke up the next day. Everything felt like it was going so fast. One moment, he was in a coma. The next, his mind was going to be infiltrated with more than 10 people participating. If his luck was extra bad, those 10 people would include those 9 noisy genin - who were almost all Chunin now, save for Naruto - which was something he most certainly wasn't looking forwards to.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke kept telling himself that it didn't matter if they saw all of his memories because he'd kill himself anyway. But the thought of those genin from when he was younger seeing all of his vulnerabilities was a rather intrusive thought. </p><p> </p><p>They kept Sasuke blindfolded and chained up while leading him to the investigation room. Only when he was in the room, which was surrounded by hidden ANBU, did they take his blindfold off. The room was bright, large, and Inoichi was standing in the middle of it.</p><p> </p><p>Much to Sasuke's luck, those 9 genin did happen to be there as his memory witnesses. Kakashi came to the room late, per usual, and everyone in the room stood out if respect for the Hokage. When Kakashi sat down, so did everyone else.</p><p> </p><p>Kakashi sighed, wanting to just get to the point so they could infiltrate Sasuke's mind and therefore get it over with. The thought of stumbling upon the terrible memories he knew Sasuke hid in his head was a rather somber thought. He gave a simple speech, just talking about why they were infiltrating Sasuke's mind.</p><p> </p><p>"We are here today to investigate through Sasuke Uchiha's mind so we can find information about both the Akatsuki and Orochimaru." Wait. They didn't tell him they were also checking to see his memories with Orochimaru. He wanted to stand up. To flash his Sharingan angrily. But then he reminded himself that it didn't matter in the end because he'd kill himself anyway. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke was taken to the middle of the room and put in new shackles, as well as a chair that strapped him down. "For this to work, you each need to be touching me as I enter Sasuke's mind," said Inoichi. The shinobi did exactly that. They each put their hand on Inoichi's shoulders and waited for the man to infiltrate Sasuke's mind. </p><p> </p><p>Then, suddenly, they were inside Sasuke's mind. His mind was a strange, dark, and cold place. They were still able to feel and control their bodies yet at the same time, they were in Sasuke's head. It was like being in two places at once. </p><p> </p><p>This was it. They were officially in Sasuke's mind.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Only The Beginning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sasuke's memories were already unbearably brutal and this was just the beginning.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TRIGGER WARNING: Implications of abuse and some gruesome violence.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Follow me," said Inoichi. Inoichi seemed to know where he was going and led them around in the dark place. "I've been in many minds before but all minds are different. Minds are complicated and generally, the more personal the memories, the more guarded they are."</p><p> </p><p>He took a turn. "I assume his memories of the Akatsuki and Orochimaru will be guarded." A mutual thought passed between the 9 rookies who weren't such rookies anymore: his time with Orochimaru was something they didn't want to see.</p><p> </p><p>Orochimaru had done all sorts of experiments and evil things like child trafficking. No wonder Sasuke's mind broke. But to put an end to Orochimaru's evil deeds and to make sure the Akatsuki had no further plans, they needed to search Sasuke's mind.</p><p> </p><p>They reached a large, bright door and Inoichi opened it with force. "Now we will be teleported to the first memory." Then, they were suddenly somewhere else. They were inside a beautiful traditional Japanese house. </p><p> </p><p>What could only be a younger Sasuke was sitting at a table with his father and mother. He looked to be 7. Sasuke looked like his mother. Then, a teenager with two lines on either side of his face walked in. It was Itachi. </p><p> </p><p>For most of the people there, Itachi was a source of evil. For Kakashi and Naruto, though, he was a source of sadness and despair. Itachi sat at the table with a paper in hand. "How did you do at school?" Asked Fugaku, already proud without seeing what was on the paper.</p><p> </p><p>Itachi handed the paper to Fugaku and the man smiled so very proudly. "As expected of my son," he said. The group didn't miss the flash of sadness and jealousy in Sasuke's eyes. Shikamaru connected the two and came to the conclusion that Sasuke yearned for the same treatment from his father. </p><p> </p><p>When Itachi got up, Sasuke followed him to the door and nervously put his hand behind his back before asking, "Can you teach me some things? You promised me you'd help me train," he said in a way that was surprisingly childish. </p><p> </p><p>Itachi gave a sad smile and poke his two fingers into Sasuke's forehead before saying, "next time." Sasuke looked utterly disappointed and then paced around, cheeks puffed in a pout. "You always say, "next time" but it never happens. When is "next time?"" </p><p> </p><p>Seeing Sasuke so childish felt so strange. Sasuke hadn't always been the cold, broken being they knew him to be today. Then, the memory was over. </p><p> </p><p>The next memory was covered by several door that blocked it. This next memory clearly wasn't going to be happy. Then, they were in a room that was presumably in the same house. This time, Sasuke was on his knees in front of his father whose legs and arms were both crossed. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke had a paper in front of him that had the test score of 100%. Still, Fugaku didn't look proud. Instead, he seemed disappointed. Then, he said, "Sasuke. Itavhi6 graduated at the age of 7. You're 8. How do I explain to the people of the clan that my son is doing what's expected of him at school and nothing more?"</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke looked down sadly, unable to look his father in the eye.</p><p> </p><p>What was strange was that they were able to feel what Sasuke was feeling in the moment. Inoichi felt the question in the air and answered. "When the subject of the memory feels something strongly, we feel it too. The reason you didn't feel anything in the last memory was because he didn't feel it strongly enough."</p><p> </p><p>Inoichi didn't talk with his hands. He was a very upfront person who didn't waste his time explaining unnecessary things. He continued. "It's the same thing with thoughts. If the thought is more direct, we'll hear it." It was an interesting fact, whether they'd been inside Sasuke's mind or not.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke said to his father, "I'll do better," which frustrated Fugaku even more. "It's too late to do better than what Itachi already has. You will never be as good as him." They were expecting his frustration to end there but his eyes were tired and he'd had a long day.</p><p> </p><p>No doubt the man wanted to take his angst out on someone. And Sasuke was there. </p><p> </p><p>"What are you going to do about this?" He asked Sasuke, wanting the kid to make up for his failures. And Sasuke wasn't sure what to say. He knew he should says something but he didn't what to say that wouldn't piss his father off even more.</p><p> </p><p>As Sasuke remembered the painful memory, he tried blocking it out which caused a door to be shut in front of the groups' faces, blocking them from seeing what would happen next. And Inoichi was fine with it. "That memory had nothing to do with the Akatsuki or Orochimaru anyway. Let's keep looking."</p><p> </p><p>They wanted to know what would've happened next. But something in them told them that they knew exactly what Fugaku was going to do next. </p><p> </p><p>The next memory was a loving memory with Sasuke's mother. And after that was a memory of Sasuke training with Itachi. As they went through Sasuke's memories, it became clear that Fugaku was a source of sadness and fear, Mikoto was a source of love, and Itachi was a source of inspiration and awe. </p><p> </p><p>Next came memories of school. Sasuke effortlessly got good grades and teased Naruto in the only way he knew to be friendly. And Sasuke was the closest he would ever be to happiness which was sad because he'd never experienced true happiness in his life. Only half smiles that were filled with hurt and disappointment.</p><p> </p><p>Trauma was a trauma because it was unexpected. It was something you could never prepare for. Everything was normal in Sasuke's life. There were few warning signs about what was bound to happen. And Sasuke ignored all of the signs. He himself still questions why he ignored those signs to this day.</p><p> </p><p>Then, it happened. It was sudden and it was tragic. Sasuke had stayed after school to practice some more ninjutsus and was on his way home. He suspected nothing. But when he walked into the Uchiha district, he first realized how quiet it was. Then, he saw the first body. His aunt.</p><p> </p><p>And the group of shinobi felt the horrified shock that Sasuke felt to his very bone. Her very head was chopped off, completely detached from her body. Her eyes were closed, as if in pain. He panicked, looking around and breathing deep, fast breaths. </p><p> </p><p>He needed to know how many others were dead. He knew he shouldn't be looking at all of those dead bodies but something in his mind was forcing him to keep going, forcing him to not run. And then, he finally ran. But not the other direction. </p><p> </p><p>Instead, he ran home, hoping and praying to a God he no longer believed in that someone in his immediate family was still alive. He finally reached his house, feet covered in blood and leaving a trail everywhere he walked. </p><p> </p><p>He walked in his house, too horrified and shocked to consider the fact that there was a murderer on the loose. His house was completely dark and quiet. He had a bad feeling in his gut but he felt he had to continue to know if his parents and brother were okay. </p><p> </p><p>He ran around the house, finding the empty beds of his parents and brother. Sakura started crying and everyone had a somber look on their face. They had been ninja for years, yet this scene that unwrapped before them was the most gruesome thing they'd ever seen.</p><p> </p><p>In the back of their heads, they wondered why this memory wasn't blocked while Kakashi figured that he had replayed this memory in his head so much that it was no longer blocked, yet it was still a trigger. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke finally found it. The room where his dead parents laid. And Itachi standing over them. At first, he was glad to have found Itachi but then, as he stepped closer, he saw the blood on Itachi and the silhouette of the sword in his hand. </p><p> </p><p>A strong feeling of denial swept through the room before a dark acceptance that no child should have to go through. "Big brother? I don't understand." Itachi took out a weapon and threw it at Sasuke, cutting his shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>Then, he performed a genjutsu on Sasuke. One that destroyed the boy from the inside out. Even though the memory of finding his family's dead bodies wasn't blocked, his memory of the genjutsu was. Again, they were thrown out of the memory and blocked by a door. </p><p> </p><p>Also again, they didn't explore the memory further because it had nothing to do with the Akatsuki, something they were grateful for. They couldn't believe the terrible horrors their eyes just witnessed. They could only imagine experiencing it as a little kid who loved their family.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke's past was already unbearably suffocating. And this was only the beginning, they miserably thought before preparing themselves for the next memory.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The Aftermath</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning: Suicidal Thoughts</p><p>Recap of the show is over after this chapter. Next, I'll actually get into Sasuke's time with Orochimaru.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The memories following the massacre were the aftermath of what had happened. Immediately after the massacre, Sasuke became cold and had a dark atmosphere to his presence. The feeling they got from Sasuke was one of self hate and despair. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke hated himself for not being able to stop Itachi. One memory Sasuke had in particular was him sitting at a dock by himself at night. He watched his reflection in the water when, suddenly, it was twisted into the form of Itachi.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke angrily jumped into the water, hate of all kinds filling the memory's air. The boy swam deeper and deeper into the water, swimming after an Itachi that wasn't there. He didn't care that he would drown if he swam too deep. </p><p> </p><p>Human bodies had their limits, though, and Sasuke's lungs gasped for air. Automatically, Sasuke coughed and breather more water in, repeating this over and over as he tried swimming to the surface before death could take him.</p><p> </p><p>He just barely made it to the surface before passing out. He coughed harshly and the group could feel their own lungs hurting with him. Inoichi must've forgotten to tell them that they could also physically feel strong feelings that the memory holder had.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke lived life miserably. For three years, he woke up every day with only the purpose of killing his brother. Then, came the day he would be chosen as a genin or not. He'd worked so hard for this day. Nothing had mattered except getting strong enough to kill Itachi, which would only be accomplishable through having a Jonin teacher teach him.</p><p> </p><p>Class was the same as every other day. Sakura tried sitting next to him, only to be yelled at by Ino. Naruto gave Sasuke jealous looks and, unlike the other days, Naruto was more riled up than usual. He stepped on top of Sasuke's shared desk and got his face in Sasuke's, glaring at the boy.</p><p> </p><p>"What do you want?" Asked Sasuke. Naruto glared even deeper. "Everyone's always going on about "Sasuke, Sasuke." What's so great about you anyway?" Sasuke glared back. The girls in the classroom gathered together and yelled at Naruto, upset he was glaring at Sasuke.</p><p> </p><p>Then, out of nowhere, Naruto lost his balance thanks to the kid in front of them and his lips smashed into Sasuke's. They felt the clear feeling of disgust and annoyance. Sasuke dramatically pout his hands to his throat, not afraid of showing his disgust. </p><p> </p><p>Then, Iruka came in the room to assign each of the teams. Sasuke had no strong thoughts pertaining to who he wanted to be teamed with. He honestly didn't care who he'd be teamed with. He didn't even care if he was to be teamed with Naruto. He just cared who their sensei would be.</p><p> </p><p>"Team 7," Iruka called out. "Is Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno," Naruto stood up in victory while Sakura looked disappointed, "and Sasuke Uchiha." Now it was Sakura's turn to stand up in victory while Naruto bowed his head in disappointment.</p><p> </p><p>After a speech from Iruka, all of the teams waited for their senseis to come and get them. Team 7's sensei was last. The group watched as Naruto pranked Kakashi by making a chalkboard eraser fall on his head. Sasuke's clear thought was disappointed and annoyed. </p><p> </p><p>'This guy's a Jonin?' he thought. Kakashi would've chuckled at Sasuke's first impression if his student wasn't being forced to share his memories from betraying the Leaf. That fact cussed the air to be more serious.</p><p> </p><p>The next memory skipped to the next day. The day where it would be decided whether they would become Genin under Kakashi's wing or not. The test was a simple test that they all remembered. What seemed to be the goal was to take one of the two bells the Jonin had to pass the test. </p><p> </p><p>The true purpose of the test, though, was for Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto to work together to grab the bells. They failed. Naruto ended up tied up without food while Sasuke and Sakura were allowed to eat. The only rule was to not feed Naruto. Sasuke was the one who came up with the idea. The idea to share their food with Naruto so they could pass the test this time.</p><p> </p><p>Out of nowhere, Kakashi jumped in front of the three of them, presumably angry. The 9 students jumped from Kakashi's sudden appearance too. Sakura, Kakashi, and Naruto watched the past sadly. "You!" yelled Kakashi, "pass." The three young now-labeled-Genin were surprised.</p><p> </p><p>Then, they each smiled. It was time to get officially established as Genin.</p><p> </p><p>The memory switched to their first mission. Then, their next. With each mission, Sasuke grew softer and softer towards his teammates, even learning to trust again. The ultimate test of trust was when Kakashi faced Zabuza. Sasuke was so badly affected by Zabuza's bloodlust that he wanted to commit suicide.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke took out a shuriken and faced it towards his leg, ready to stab himself to death. He couldn't handle Zabuza's murderous intent. Just as Sasuke raised the shuriken to stab himself, Kakashi stopped him by swearing he would protect his team with his life.</p><p> </p><p>It was interesting to see how Sasuke already had suicidal thoughts at a young age. Maybe his suicide attempt was destined to happen. </p><p> </p><p>In that moment, Sasuke had to decide whether he could trust Kakashi's words or not. Memories of times he trusted Kakashi flashed through Sasuke's head and the group already knew has answer. Slowly, Sasuke lowered his weapon and faced it towards the enemy rather than himself. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi was clearly relieved.</p><p> </p><p>The present Kakashi, who was watching the memory, remembered this moment. Maybe he should've done something about Sasuke's suicidal ideation back then. He blamed himself, even if only a little bit. He believed that if he'd paid attention more to Sasuke, maybe Sasuke wouldn't have turned out the way he had today.</p><p> </p><p>The next memory was when Haku, Zabuza's partner, had Sasuke and Naruto both trapped in a trap of mirrors. This was a different test of trust. Rather than it testing Sasuke's trust in others, it had to do with others' trust in Sasuke. </p><p> </p><p>Haku was fighting Sasuke and Naruto viciously, attacking them again and again. Then, Haku directed his attack on Naruto. Sasuke noticed this and realized that if Naruto was attacked so harshly, there was a good chance he would die.</p><p> </p><p>Again, Sasuke remembered all of his times with Team 7. Then, he came to the decision. He would save Naruto. He didn't even consider the fact that he still needed to kill his brother, he was so focused on saving Naruto. He only remembered Itachi after it was too late.</p><p> </p><p>He blocked Naruto from the attacks and was stabbed multiple times in the process. Naruto's eyes were shocked beyond belief. "Sasuke..." He said. "Why did you -" "I don't know," said Sasuke. "I didn't think." Naruto was horrified as Sasuke collapsed.</p><p> </p><p>"That man. I need to kill that man." "Who?" Naruto asked, holding Sasuke tightly. "My brother..." Then, Sasuke passed out. The memory ended and in the next memory, Sasuke woke up surrounded by Sakura and the person they were protecting, Tenzen. </p><p> </p><p>The next memory was the Chunin exams. More specifically, the time he was bitten by Orochimaru. They had to watch these memories all the way through because they had to do with Orochimaru. They watched intently, getting whatever information on Orochimaru that they could. </p><p> </p><p>Orochimaru fought with Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura in the body of a woman. He made sure to make it where Sakura and Naruto were too tired to fight so that only Sasuke would fight with him. Sasuke fought for his and his team's lives until he himself was too tired to continue.</p><p> </p><p>Orochimaru seemed satisfied, though, as he stopped attacking Sasuke and stood across from him. "You're even better than I expected," he told Sasuke, pleased. Then, he waved a hand sign and suddenly, his neck and head came out of his body like a snake.</p><p> </p><p>Then, he bit Sasuke's neck. "You will come to find me. I'll be waiting." Then, he left. Sakura ran to Sasuke worriedly. "Sasuke. Are you okay?" Sasuke scrunched his eyebrows together in pain. Then, he yelled loudly. </p><p> </p><p>The group of ninja felt the pain in Sasuke's neck and could hardly take it themselves. The poor kid. The pain only got worse and they were so glad when the memory was over. </p><p> </p><p>The next memory was when Sasuke saw Itachi for the first time in years. Itachi had come to the Leaf for Naruto with his partner, Kisame. Sasuke ran until he could find Itachi and faced the man, ready to fight. Itachi, however, wasn't interested. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke didn't give up there. He persisted until Itachi had no choice but to fight the boy. Itachi broke Sasuke's arm when he ran at him with Chidori. Itachi then threw Sasuke at the wall on the opposite side of the room and held Sasuke up by his throat.</p><p> </p><p>Then, he told Sasuke he was weak before proceeding to put Sasuke under the same Genjutsu he had during the massacre of the clan. Sasuke experienced the massacre in Itachi's point of view again and again and again. The group of shinobi watching felt like they themselves were getting mind screwed.</p><p> </p><p>Then, Sasuke passed out, unable to emotionally handle the massacre again. 'What have I been doing?' Sasuke thought. 'All this time... instead of avenging my clan, I've been having fun.' He woke up in the hospital a few weeks later with his only goal being to kill Itachi.</p><p> </p><p>Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was killing Itachi. Then, Naruto came into the hospital room after Sakura. Naruto whom he'd watched grow stronger than him. Sasuke narrowed his eyes. Naruto. He needed to fight Naruto.</p><p> </p><p>"You. Me. Let's fight." Naruto got excited, thinking that this was Sasuke acknowledging him. They got to the roof and fought. Naruto fought happily while Sasuke fought in full purpose. If he couldn't win against Naruto, he'd never win against Itachi.</p><p> </p><p>The fight was simple at first. They hit each other fist to fist and threw each other to the ground. Then, it got more serious. It ended with Sasuke and Naruto run at each other with their strongest Jutsus, unable to stop because they were in midair. It was almost too late before Kakashi came out of nowhere and stopped them by throwing each of them into water towers. </p><p> </p><p>The memory ended.</p><p> </p><p>Next, Kakashi was reprimanding Sasuke for using his Chidori in such a bad way. Sasuke didn't listen though. Kakashi couldn't understand him. "How would you like it," Sasuke told Kakashi, "If I killed every single person you loved? Maybe you'd understand me then."</p><p> </p><p>Kakashi s.uled at Sasuke and said, "Interesting theory but," he leaned in further, "everyone I've cared about and loved is already dead." Sasuke's eyes widened. "Luckily, you and I have found a new family though." Sasuke thought about Team 7 and relaxed some. He was right, after all.</p><p> </p><p>The 9 teens watched understandingly. They all understood what it was like to lose someone, even if not to that extent.  </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi left and after an hour, four ninja from the Sound Village approached Sasuke. Sasuke fought with them at first and wanted nothing to do with them. But then they said something that hit him hard. "You need more power, right?" Said a girl with pink hair. "Wouldn't you like to kill a certain someone?" Asked the boy with orange hair like a clown. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke couldn't deny it. He needed to kill Itachi and he wasn't sure if he'd ever be happy with that man running around. "Meet us in the forest outside the Konoha gates at midnight tonight. We'll lead you to Orochimaru, who can teach you to become powerful enough to kill your brother."</p><p> </p><p>It didn't take much for Sasuke to decide to leave. He hated the place anyways. He felt suffocated living where the massacre happened. And Sasuke left the village that night.</p><p> </p><p> The next memory was Sasuke's fight with Naruto at the Valley Of The End. The fight was emotional. All throughout it, Sasuke remembered both painful and happy memories. He decided that if he beat Naruto, he'd go to Orochimaru. If Naruto beat him, he'd go back home.</p><p> </p><p>The present Naruto lowered his head. If only he'd beaten Sasuke that evening. Kakashi shared Naruto's regret. If only he'd caught up to Sasuke fast enough, none of this would've happened. </p><p> </p><p>The fight ended with both Sasuke and Naruto in their transformed bodies, throwing their strongest Jutsus at each other and successfully doing so this time.. Sasuke was one with the curse mark while Naruto was one with the Nine Tails. When their Jutsus clashed, a large ball of light surrounded them and only got larger. Then, they fell.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke had won. He was going to Orochimaru.</p><p> </p><p>It was a shame.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Orochimaru</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning: Rape, abuse, psychological abuse, and suicidal thoughts</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first thing Sasuke learned during his time with Orochimaru was to know his place. He wasn't afraid to tell Orochimaru that he didn't think fondly of him. Just the same, Orochimaru wasn't afraid to punish him for being disrespectful.</p><p> </p><p>It first happened when Sasuke refused to kneel to the snake, deciding his Uchiha pride was more important. Orochimaru had pride of his own, though, and was not about to get it ruined by some child who came to him for help. </p><p> </p><p>He threw Sasuke into the wall and the group watched as Orochimaru towered over him while he was struggling to get up off the ground. "I am your superior. You will kneel to me or you will suffer the consequences." </p><p> </p><p>But Sasuke was strong. </p><p> </p><p>He kneeled to Orochimaru but he was far from trained. Five throws into the wall and several broken bones later, Sasuke was finally catching on. His pride was still too big to swallow, though, and Orochimaru got tired of throwing him into the wall.</p><p> </p><p>Instead, he started performing experiments on Sasuke. Ones that were crucial to his training and to becoming stronger such as poison tolerance experiments. He'd tie Sasuke to a surgical table and then, he'd inject a serum into the boy's body.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke would shake and crumble and sometimes, he'd break his wrists against the bonds. The memory was awful. "I wonder why this memory isn't blocked," said Rock Lee who was grimacing deeply. Shikamaru said the only obvious answer that came to mind.</p><p> </p><p>"Because he's experienced worse." The others looked at him confusedly. Kakashi explained. "Let's say you get tortured every day of your life and experience a paper cut. That paper cut will be nothing in comparison to the torture. However, someone who's never experienced the pain of a paper cut might block it from their mind as it's something they cannot take."</p><p> </p><p>"In other words, he's experienced so much pain over the years that this one memory is nothing to him," finished Shikamaru. </p><p> </p><p>That was a sickening thought. </p><p> </p><p>'Make it stop,' Sasuke yelled out in his mind over and over until it evolved to him thinking, 'please kill me' instead. They could feel his anguish both mentally and physically. The pain was so bad that at times, he wanted to die.</p><p> </p><p>Some of the 9 shinobi weren't sure how much more of this they could take themselves. They were just at the beginning of watching Sasuke's memories with Orochimaru and they already could hardly take it. Naruto clenched his fists. "No wonder Sasuke's so broken. If only I could've saved him.."</p><p> </p><p>The others looked at Naruto and Kakashi put his arm on his shoulder supportively. The memory moved on to the next.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke's training with Orochimaru was almost as rough as the punishments he'd received; sometimes, even worse. Orochimaru wasn't afraid to hurt Sasuke with his Jutsus. That fact was somewhat surprising because everyone expected Orochimaru to treat his new body carefully and delicately, giving it the utmost care.</p><p> </p><p>However, Orochimaru wasn't afraid of hurting Sasuke because Kabuto was a very good healer who could heal Sasuke's wounds until there were no marks left. Sasuke grew up with a higher tolerance to pain. Orochimaru was pleased about that. </p><p> </p><p>One of the most important things Orochimaru wanted to change about Sasuke was his softness. Sasuke wouldn't kill anyone, let alone injure them enough to make them pass out. He wanted to change that. He took Sasuke along with him to experiments and torture sessions.</p><p> </p><p>The group watched as Orochimaru pulled nails out of peoples' skin, minced skin to pieces, and cut human bodies open. Sasuke had a strange gratefulness to Orochimaru for never making him torture or experiment on people himself.</p><p> </p><p>Things somehow got worse, though. As if torture and experimentation wasn't bad enough, Orochimaru relished in eating human meat and selling kids and some adults into trafficking of all sorts. Mainly sex and experimentation trafficking. Sasuke swore to everyone who was under Orochimaru's "care" that he would release them someday.</p><p> </p><p>It was the way he coped with what was going on around him. If he saved these people someday, it would make up for the fact that he wasn't doing anything about it now. Torture day in and day out. The sounds of women screaming as they got raped.</p><p> </p><p>Whenever Sasuke tried to do something about what was going on around him, he'd end up getting punished with the most painful of experiments or training Orochimaru could come up with. After a while, Sasuke developed extreme PTSD over the punishments he'd received and stopped trying to help people.</p><p> </p><p>After six years passed, Sasuke was finally 18 and it was near time for Orochimaru to take his body. Orochimaru began to want to use him not only as his new vessel but also for pleasure. </p><p> </p><p>It started one day, when Sasuke trained with Orochimaru, and the man was obviously lustful. Sasuke was used to being hurt so when Orochimaru pulled his pants down, he let it happen. When Orochimaru entered him, he didn't allow himself to scream from the pain. When Orochimaru came, he let the hot, burning cum fill him.</p><p> </p><p>Kakashi closed his eyes from the mental anguish he felt at seeing his student being used so horribly. Sakura cried and, surprisingly, so did Naruto. It was heartbreaking. Sasuke's life was full of misery from the second he was born. Unwanted by his father, clan murdered, and abused in different ways. </p><p> </p><p>Nothing seemed to go right for the Uchiha. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke's toxic relationship with Orochimaru continued until the day he came to kill the man. And for once, Sasuke enjoyed something. He enjoyed watching Orochimaru crumble to the floor. He enjoyed throwing him against the wall. He enjoyed watching the fear fill Orochimaru's eyes. The fear that he was going to die.</p><p> </p><p>Most of all, Sasuke enjoyed the lifeless eyes of Orochimaru when he was dead.</p><p> </p><p>And Sasuke was satisfied.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Team Taka</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Oops. Forgot to do the tw.<br/>Here:</p><p>WARNING: talk of sexual abuse, human experimentation, angst</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sasuke's gathering of Team Hebi went exactly the way he expected it to. He'd planned for every one of their answers, including the hesitation in Suigetsu. What he hadn't planned for was creating bonds with his teammates. </p><p> </p><p>They all had similar feelings when it came to Orochimaru. They (besides Suigetsu) were grateful for him in the sense that he either taught them, saved them, or kept other people safe from them yet they had a hate for the man. None of them were sad that he was dead.</p><p> </p><p>Most of all, they had a mutual respect for Sasuke. And, before they knew it, they started to care for Sasuke. They ate together, slept together, fought together, and protected each other. They were all experimented on by Orochimaru and used in ways no one wished upon others.</p><p> </p><p>Their time with Orochimaru was something they talked about after a few months but it wasn't until nearly a year until they were able to share the worst of things Orochimaru had done to them. Sasuke surprised himself by talking about it. </p><p> </p><p>It was a normal day of resting together when Suigetsu suddenly talked about how much he genuinely hated Orochimaru. When no one reacted badly, he continued, trusting the others to not judge him. "You know what that guy did to me? He'd mixed my liquid body with terrible substances to see if the water my body is made up of reacts the same way as real water does." </p><p> </p><p> Then, he put his head down and they could tell it was going to get more serious. "Orochimaru also made people drink me to see if I'd be absorbed like regular water or if I'd just pass through the body." It was quiet for a second as Suigetsu was getting up the courage to finish.</p><p> </p><p>"And... And. It's kinda gross but then people would, like, pee me out." Sasuke had never seen Suigetsu so embarassed. He usually put up a really strong front but today was different. The emberassment of being forced to have something to do with someone else's privates was agony. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke stared off into space, remembering Orochimaru using him for pleasure. Karin went next. "When I was younger, hundreds of soldiers used me to heal themselves. They'd bite me everywhere. That's why I have scars in private places." Sasuke felt almost hurt at hearing what had happened to his teammates.</p><p> </p><p>"When Orochimaru took me in, I was so grateful, even though he still let people bite me in places I didn't want them to. Sasuke started feeling like talking about his secret relationship with Orochimaru. Even though many people assumed it was happening, those were just rumors. No one actually knew it was happening.</p><p> </p><p>Fine. He thought. His team showed such trust and vulnerability. He could trust them. And for the first time in a while, he felt truly safe. "There were rumors," he started, "about me being Orochimaru's pet." The looks on their faces showed that they knew exactly what he was talking about.</p><p> </p><p>"It's true," said Sasuke. "When I got older, Orochimaru used me for his pleasure." Suigetsu's face paled , even though he didn't seem surprised while Karin looked a mix of angry and sad. Jugo couldn't take it. He couldn't take the fact that Orochimaru hurt Sasuke so badly and started to transform. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke reacted immediately, activating his Sharingan and making Jugo stop transforming. "Sorry," Jugo apologized in a way that had a double meaning. "I'm fine," Sasuke said, not sure if he was being honest with himself. </p><p> </p><p>But they understood what he meant. </p><p> </p><p>Jugo went last. "I never had experiences like you guys. You know I was used as the creator of the curse mark and that was unbearably painful. But I was never touched or anything like that." They nodded. Sasuke knew for a fact how bad the curse mark hurt. It was torture. Jugo had it just as rough as the rest of them. </p><p> </p><p>They all shared a comfortable silence. It felt good to get these things off their chests. </p><p> </p><p>Team 7 couldn't deny feeling left out while watching Sasuke bond with his new team. They felt replaced. And that's exactly what Sasuke did in life. When his family died, he tried replacing them with the cats behind his house. When the cats were taken away by the animal shelter, Sasuke replaced them with Team 7. </p><p> </p><p>When he left Team 7, he tried to find replacement in Orochimaru. When Orochimaru had sex with him, he no longer saw the man as a father. Later, he replaced Orochimaru with his Team Hebi, hoping to find a family in them. He did. And they were a great family up to the point when Sasuke was taken in by the Leaf.</p><p> </p><p>But nothing was ever the same as Team 7. Team 7 was his first real family after the massacre. Kakashi was his father, Naruto his annoying brother, and Sakura his sister. He loved them. He never forgot about them which was why he needed to kill them. He cared about them too much.</p><p> </p><p>Team Hebi worked together to make money for food, clothes, weapons, and hotels. Sasuke made sure to take care of his team and provided them with the things they'd needed. Sasuke and Jugo took turns cooking food for the team and to save money, they always slept in the same room together.</p><p> </p><p>They were close. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke only began to realize how much he truly cared about them after he killed Itachi and joined the Akatsuki. When he changed their team name to Team Taka and found out the truth about Itachi. More specifically, it was on the day where they fought Killer Bee. The Jinchuriki put up a good fight - too good of a fight - and they almost died. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke especially was in the verge of death. But they risked their very lives to save him. Just when he shot the black flames of Amaterasu at the tailed beast and burned Karin while doing so, Sasuke had to come to a decision. Would he leave her behind to save the rest of them? </p><p> </p><p>The answer was no.</p><p> </p><p>He realized he would not leave his team behind and did everything in his power to save Karin. He was successful. He saw Team 7 in them. That was the day he came to the realization that he'd created bonds with his new team. And he was able to let go. Able to leave Team 7 behind. </p><p> </p><p>He would always care about Team 7 but it was time to move forward. They were enemies now. This was his new team and he was going to move on.</p><p> </p><p>Team 7 wasn't sure how to feel about Sasuke moving on.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Danzo</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning: some horrific violence</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The 5 Kage Summit came up quickly. The day it did come up, Sasuke could only focus on Danzo, whom Madara told him was part of the Uchiha Clan Massacre. </p><p> </p><p>Someone (likely Zetsu) had informed the Kage that Sasuke was there so after killing off several samurai, Sasuke had to fight the Raikage and his escorts. Sasuke was so focused on Danzo being killed that most of the fight was just him thinking fast. He had no plan.</p><p> </p><p>Since Madara had told Sasuke the truth about his brother, his mind had been breaking to pieces little by little as he processed the truth while his eyes were hurting and slowly going blind. The fight was blurry to him as he found himself on the defense most of the time. </p><p> </p><p>He hardly got any good attacks in until he decided to use his Amaterasu to burn the Raikage's arm off. Soon after, Gaara, the Kazekage showed up. Naruto watched Gaara, wanting to know what he'd said to Sasuke.</p><p> </p><p>He remembered when Gaara told him to give up on Sasuke and he only assumed that was because Sasuke had said something to him that made him seem unredeemable. Gaara was surprisingly gentle at first, speaking in a voice that sounded hopeful and caring.</p><p> </p><p>But Sasuke associated Gaara with the Leaf and the Leaf was bad so therefore Gaara was bad. Gaara's speech about telling into darkness just pissed him off even more. Who was Gaara, friend of the Leaf, to tell him what was right and good? </p><p> </p><p>"I like the darkness," said Sasuke. </p><p> </p><p>'I like the darkness' wasn't a lie. In fact, it was equal to the truth. This was the best Sasuke had felt in a long time. Rather than focusing on how miserable the world was and doing nothing about it, he was fixing the miserable world by ridding it of those who were evil. </p><p> </p><p>A tear dropped from Gaara's face as he controlled his sand, ready to attack. But Sasuke wasn't there to fight Gaara. He used his Susanoo's sword to cut down all of the pillars holding the building up, grabbed Karin, and ran. He assumed his other teammates would make it out of there fine.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke ran to where Karin told him to go and entered the room holding the remaining Kage. The Mizukage, a firey woman quite literally, spit lava at Sasuke. Sasuke dodged into the hallway and the woman broke through the wall, coming after him. </p><p> </p><p>With all of the commotion going on, the Hokage, Danzo, escaped while the Mizukage blocked Sasuke from going after him. Sasuke was kept on his feet again. He blocked and rarely mad any attacks. In one of his blocks, he ran back into the room with the other Kage which was a mistake as the Tsuchikage caught Sasuke up in his particle cube Jutsu.</p><p> </p><p>Just as Sasuke was about to turn into particles, he teleported somewhere else. Kakashi and Sakura recognized it as the place Obito could teleport people to. 3 minutes after Sasuke was in there Karin, was teleported there too. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke, as much as he'd hate to say it, was badly injured and so Karin had to heal him. After half an hour later, Sasuke was fully recovered and Danzo finally let Sasuke and Karin out. Karin led them to Danzo and Obito fought Danzo's men while Sasuke ran after Danzo. </p><p> </p><p>They met on a bridge. Sasuke attacked first. Their opening fighting was just them getting to know each other's style before getting into the serious fighting. Sasuke kicked his leg into the air elegantly while Danzo missed roughly yet quietly. </p><p> </p><p>Then, their fighting got a little more serious as they threw Jutsus at each other. Then, Danzo was tired of their small fighting and decided to get serious. He started unwrapping the bandages around his eye and arm. Sasuke wasn't sure what was under those bandages but he assumed that whatever it was, it was something powerful.</p><p> </p><p>Obito showed up in time to see the reveal of what was under his bandages. What was underneath his bandages made everyone who was watching sick: Sharingan eyes. Sasuke felt like he'd lost something inside of himself and his world turned black and red. </p><p> </p><p>He fought Danzo with no emotion when he realized what he'd lost; empathy. All that was left inside was anger. Sasuke used the best Jutsus he could think of, not caring that his energy was low. He needed to kill this man and he needed to kill him now. Never before had Sasuke felt this homicidal. Never before had Sasuke felt this cold.</p><p> </p><p>Madara came back, having already taken care of Danzo's escorts.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke was so senseless that he tore Danzo's arm off unthinkingly. He had no mercy. The satisfaction he felt was even greater than how good he felt when he killed Danzo. After Sasuke pulled the man's right arm off, Sasuke lifted his fingers to the man's eyes, holding him in place so he'd stop struggling to get free.</p><p> </p><p>"Agggghhhh!" Sasuke dug his fingers straight into Danzo's eyeuntil they curled around to the back of the sockets and then, he tugged. The eye popped out and it was attached to the man's head by a long cord. Sasuke pulled on that cord and he pulled hard. Finally, the eye's cord detached from the man's head.</p><p> </p><p>The man didn't stop yelling in pain as Sasuke took a small shuriken and stabbed the man until blood was everywhere. He made sure the blade wasn't large enough to kill the guy by digging it into his muscle and bones too deep. After a while of being tortured, Danzo was ready to do his last and final Jutsu.</p><p> </p><p>He kicked Sasuke off of him and pushed his bloody hands together to make Jutsu symbols. "Sasuke. Get back," Madara yelled in a rushed voice. Sasuke jumped back but Karin didn't get back fast enough and got caught up in Danzo's Jutsu, which turned out to be an explosive Jutsu.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke's eyes widened and Obito prevented him from going after Karin. Sasuke was frustrated as he watched the explosion hurt his teammate. Even with his lack of empathy, he automatically tried protecting his teammate out of habit. </p><p> </p><p>Then, Danzo was dead. </p><p> </p><p>Madara took back all of the Sharingan eyes to the hideout with him and told Sasuke he'd meet him there. Sasuke walked over to Karin who was clearly in much pain. He could hear her whimpering. Then, came the options. Would he kill her to put her out of her misery or would he let her live, likely forever damaged?</p><p> </p><p>He heard footsteps coming from behind him and recognized the chakra. It was Sakura.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Meeting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>WARNING: Reference to sexual abuse</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Sasuke," said Sakura. Sasuke turned slightly to look at her. "Every day, I regret not coming with you that night." He wasn't stupid. He saw the nervousness on her face. What was she planning? He let her approach him until he realized she was hiding her right hand. </p><p> </p><p>Was Sakura trying to hurt him somehow? Maybe she was tricking him to try to bring him back to the village. Sakura was nearly right behind Sasuke when she whipped out a shuriken. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke was still filled with shock from Danzo's secret collection of Sharingan eyes so when he found out Sakura was plotting to kill him, it wasn't as much of a surprise as it should've been. This was it. It was his time to get revenge.</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke thought of his times with Team 7 only to find his memories corrupted with darkness. Every smile they had made now looked deceiving. Every truth sounded like a lie. All happiness they experienced was the Leaf Village happily living off of the murder of his family.</p><p> </p><p>And, suddenly, Sakura no longer seemed like his old teammate but rather an enemy. This was it. It was time to set things straight. Sasuke was still in the middle of his great mental breakdown and he was more impulsive than before. Without thinking of the consequences, he let himself become swallowed by the darkness, sadness, and anger in his heart.</p><p> </p><p>"Chidori," he said, almost shakily. Was this really what he wanted? What he wanted didn't matter because his body was moving by itself and his Chidori was almost inside Sakura. Then, he was stopped by someone. He wasn't sure whether to thank the person for stopping him or to be angry at the person, so he stuck to simply seeing who it was that stopped him.</p><p> </p><p>He met eyes with Kakashi. "How you've fallen, Sasuke."</p><p> </p><p>Kakashi and Sasuke kicked at each other, dodged, and jumped away from each other. When they landed, Kakashi used his string bondage to bind Sasuke, only for Sasuke to be replaced by a log. Sasuke jumped back to the ground and released several kunai, some going in the direction of Sakura.</p><p> </p><p>Kakashi put up his mud wall of ninja dogs to protect Sakura. Then, they stood there, facing each other. They were each facing their past, deciding whether they were enemies now or if one another could be redeemable. Kakashi looked at Sasuke sadly and Sasuke just knew he was remembering the time he gave him a talk about revenge.</p><p> </p><p>"Sasuke. I don't like to repeat myself but give up on revenge. There's more to you than family." Sasuke felt angry because there really wasn't more to him than family. The village had made sure of that. His entire life revolved around the murder of his Clan, whether he wanted it to or not.</p><p> </p><p>It was funny, actually. Funny that Kakashi would even consider telling him to give up on something so important. So funny, in fact, that for the first time since he was seven, he laughed. And he couldn't stop laughing. </p><p> </p><p>Then, suddenly, his mind was filled with gruesome and unwanted images of his clan and of the times with Orochimaru. If it weren't for the massacre, he never would've gone to that creep, Orochimaru. If it weren't for the massacre, he wouldn't have had to sit there and take it while Orochimaru roughly fucked him.</p><p> </p><p>"Stop acting like you're still my sensei," he said angrily, trying to shut the man up. He hoped those words would hurt Kakashi like how Kakashi's words hurt him. Kakashi spaced out again, probably remembering something. "I understand how Lord Hiruzen felt now. No matter how far he'd fallen, you still cared for him. To fight your beloved student..."</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke was angered even more by remembering that old man. He was likely part of the Uchiha Massacre. "I don't like to repeat myself either," he said, repeating Kakashi's previous words. "But stop acting like you're my sensei." And then, "you'll go the same way as Hiruzen did." </p><p> </p><p>Then, Kakashi lifted up his mask that was covering his Sharingan and they clashed their shuriken together. Sasuke fought hard, not caring for starting slow this time. He just wanted to get this over with. He wasn't sure what he would do after he killed his former team.</p><p> </p><p>In all honesty, he'd probably kill himself.</p><p> </p><p>They dropped down to the water under the bridge and continued fighting until Sasuke activated his Susanoo. His eyes were hurting and his eyesight was going out. But he was persistent. He'd do anything to get rid of the past. To be set free. Even if it meant killing the ones he'd cared about in the past. </p><p> </p><p>Kakashi, who was ever so persistent,  tried to convince Sasuke to stop once again. "Sasuke. You're more than just your clan." Again, this angered Sasuke because this wasn't true and his susanoo gained another layer. "Think back to when you were with the Leaf Village. How did you feel?" </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke wasn't sure why but this time, he listened. He closed his eyes and did as his former sensei said. He imagined when he was one of the rookie 9 and had fun with Team 7. "You're all laughing," he said. But through their laughs, he heard the cries of his family as they were chopped up one by one. The Leaf Village was happy only because his family died ever so miserably. </p><p> </p><p>"You're laughing because of the pain you put my family through!" He said angrily. They were only happy because he was miserable. The world wasn't fair and he hated it. He wished he could make the world fair and it was only fair that he got revenge on the Village. </p><p> </p><p>His susanoo gained two more thick layers of skin and was looking more and more like a chakra spirit. His Susanoo's weapon was a bow and arrow. He pulled the air back on the string of the bow and shot a giant arrow at Kakashi. Kakashi blocked with his water dragon jutsu. </p><p> </p><p>Sasuke's eyes hurt more than ever. He felt like he would pass out from the pain. Just then, he noticed a presence above him. It was Sakura running upside down on the underside of the bridge. She had a shuriken out and when Sasuke noticed her, she jumped down to the water and before she could stab Sasuke, he took hold of her neck and forced her to point the shuriken at her own throat.</p><p> </p><p>Her shuriken was an inch away from her throat when she was taken out of Sasuke's grasp. Sasuke knew who it was immediately and glared deeply at the perpetrator. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Switched Places</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So sorry for the really, really late update. I got into a couple other fandoms and got distracted. I wish I could say I'm making it up to you with a giant chapter but this chapter will actually be shorter than others. (Sorry.) I hope you can forgive me. The next few chapters will be hard for me to write because they're more action than psychological stuff but we'll get through it. I have plans for the story to continue on even after they no longer review his memories. Probably as a part 2 so you don't have to read it if you don't want to. Please bare with me again. Thank you so much for baring with me as I took a break from this ff as well. Thanks! :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Of course it was Naruto. Naruto was always the one to ruin Sasuke's ideas. He was the goal ruiner. Every time Sasuke had a goal, Naruto would come and get in the way. </p><p> </p><p>Naruto and Sasuke met eyes before Naruto set Sakura down. Sakura, who was watching as Naruto saved her, had tears in her eyes as she remembered that day. Kakashi put a hand on her shoulder for some support. </p><p> </p><p>Sakura hated how she cries so much which made her cry even more. Why was she the weak one? </p><p> </p><p>"Sasuke. What's gotten into you? Sakura's part of Team 7." Sasuke wanted to laugh. Team 7 ended a long time ago. "I'm no longer part of Team 7," he informed Naruto. "What are you doing? Look, I heard about your brother from this guy named Tobi..." He trailed off.</p><p> </p><p>He expected Sasuke to be angry and even though he clenched his fist, he had a look of insane happiness in his face. "Not that long ago," he started, "I killed Danzo of the Leaf." This was yet another hit in the face. Sasuke explained how Danzo had taken out the eyes of his clan and made them his. "He deserved to die. One more down, brother," he said as if Itachi was with him.</p><p> </p><p>Naruto and Sakura looked as if they were beginning to understand. Kakashi, who already understood what Sasuke had turned into, said, "stay back." "What are you going to do?" Asked Naruto. Kakashi had a serious look on his face that said he was going to have to do something that weighed heavily on his soul.</p><p> </p><p>Naruto understood immediately and acted quickly. He made a few shadow clones to hold Kakashi down while he made his Rasengan and ran at Sasuke, pointing it towards him. Sasuke caught on right away and ran at Naruto with his Chidori. </p><p> </p><p>As they got closer and closer to each other, Sasuke remembered times he'd spent with Team 7 in the past and when he was a few feet from Naruto, he remembered Naruto-specific memories. 'This is it,' thought Sasuke who was coming at Naruto with killer intent. </p><p> </p><p>He braced for pain, not really sure what would happen overall but instead of pain at impact, he was suddenly surrounded in light and he was standing there, no Chidori in hand, staring at Naruto. He knew what this was. "Sasuke, remember when we were kids and you told me that this is what happens to High Level Ninja who fight?"</p><p> </p><p>Sasuke nodded once. As Naruto spoke, Sasuke could see his thoughts. "There was once a time in which I would've been in your place exactly. I hated the village because they hated me." Sasuke watched as Naruto remembered the Villagers rejecting him and gossipping about him behind his back. They were cruel. </p><p> </p><p>Then, Naruto grew up and took the same path Sasuke did. Then, he grew even older and stood where Sasuke was, ready to kill his best friend. Everything switched back to Sasuke being the villain. The audience of the memories shifted, uncomfortable with the thought that Naruto could've been Sasuke. </p><p> </p><p>"I could've been you. But you know why I didn't end up like you? Because I had people there to help me." Sasuke listened without really listening, darkness making him near deaf. But he wasn't completely deaf and the small amount he could hear echoed in his head. Then, he was flying in the air and he was no longer in the light. He could see the ground racing towards him. </p><p> </p><p>Human survival instinct kicked in and he felt only slightly panicked as he hurled through the air. He'd been through too many near death experiences to feel overwhelmed with panic. And just like every other near death experience, he was saved just before being thrown into a wall, hitting his head.</p><p> </p><p>It was White Zetsu who saved him. He was almost upset about that, still annoyed wth him for snitching on his team at the Kage Summit. Sasuke fell to his knees, panting. He needed to recuperate a bit before capturing Naruto. </p><p> </p><p>Madara showed up after a few minutes, refusing to fight for now. Sasuke was frustrated with this but he couldn't object, needing to heal before his final fight with Naruto. And then they left.</p>
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